I distinctively remember the night my husband told me that he had an overwhelming feeling that we were meant to go to Texas. I remember thinking he was crazy! I told my friends at work and my family that he was crazy! I think my response to him went something like this, “I absolutely do NOT think that we should move to Texas, not ever, I’m NOT going anywhere!”
I was comfortable in our home that Devin and I got to see built. I was comfortable at my job where I have been for almost six years now, and I was comfortable with our family being so close that we can depend on them for anything. I was comfortable. I have always been a person who seeks comfort in all situations and repels any idea of change, which is one of the many reasons why I believe the Lord gave me Devin.
While moving to Texas was an adverse thought and pretty much placed out of my mind from the first moment Devin brought it up, God continued to speak to my heart about changes that He did want me to make. I prayed a lot of earnest prayers where I asked Him to strengthen my faith and to help Devin and me lead our family in a way that would be pleasing to Him. I prayed that He would provide us with Godly friends that we could grow and serve with. I prayed for His guidance and direction for our lives and at times I would pray “IF we are meant to go to Georgetown then please lead us in that direction, show us whether or not that is your will for us.” I admit that I never thought it was His will, but I felt led to pray that prayer because Devin seemed so convinced. As time went on, I realized God was revealing things to me that I wasn’t prepared for or ready to admit.
Not long after Devin and I joined Andy and Erin’s small group at their home, I was reading my Bible and a scripture stood out to me. The words seemed to leap off the page and speak directly to my heart, so much so that I felt led to write it down on an index card and place it on our refrigerator where it still is today. The verse was this: “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19.
I did not know at the time what that verse truly meant, but I knew it was meant for me to see. I knew it meant something and was a hand delivered message to me personally from God.
The journey continues on with God breathing more and more of His will and wishes for my life to my soul and me realizing that His will and my will were conflicting. I remember a conversation that I had with my uncle last Christmas. He asked me, “How are things in your life?” I told him things were good and he asked me, “What’s new? What have you learned lately?” I told him that nothing was really new; I was just working mainly. I know that he was trying to pester me and be a pain, because he is that type of uncle, but his response was, “So you are saying you are just complacent?” I came up with some response about how I felt like I learned something new every day just to get him to stop bothering me, but deep inside I knew he was right!
Over time I had realized that wilderness without a pathway and that dry wasteland without a river was my life. I had been living a self-sufficient life and had become complacent with things just the way they were, and God was beginning to show me that He wanted more and that He was indeed doing something new just like He had shown me months earlier through His words in the book of Isaiah.
I was now beginning to think that God might really want us to go to Georgetown. That all along He had been leading us down a path that actually did lead to Texas. I thought this for quite some time, but I was hesitant to talk with Devin about it because I had already emphatically shot that idea of his straight out of the sky! I wrestled with the emotions for probably a few weeks and prayed that God would provide me the right opportunity to talk with him about things. Then one night, I blurted something out to him in the kitchen like, “So what do you think about Texas?” His response was, “I think we should go, but honestly I had come to the conclusion just this week that if God hadn’t convinced you by now then we must not be going!”
It turns out that God had been working in both of our lives in just the right ways for us to realize that God’s plans for our lives were BIG. God’s plans for our lives were bigger than our own plans. God’s plans for our lives may seem crazy to others that hear about them, even to our own families, but throughout the intimate process of God’s revelation of His plans to us we know that we can trust Him.
Another revelation of God that I hold dearly to my heart and would like to share came at a time after Devin and I had already committed to going to Georgetown. I had been wrestling with the decision and having moments of weakness where I was asking myself, “What are you doing?” “Are you really going to uproot your family and move eight hours to a place where you know no one?” “Where are you going to work?” “Where are you going to live?”
Once again God showed up and gave me the next bit of lamplight that I needed to continue on. It was Easter Sunday and the passage of scripture that literally brought me to tears sitting in the congregation was this: “And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again” (2 Corinthians 5:15).
This was another message I believe was hand delivered to me at just the right time by a perfect God. It was that moment where again I felt like God was showing me that “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!” It was through this sermon that I came to a true place of surrender. Devin and I still do not have all the answers, but we know that God does, we are trusting in Him that He is going to use us and the rest of the Antioch Georgetown team to extend his glory, and we are thankful to Him for all that He has done and will continue to do.