I was starting my junior year of high school when I was called to ministry. I was terrified of the idea that one day, I might be the guy on stage every Sunday morning preaching the sermon. It scared me most because I hated being in front of a crowd. The fear I had was that I was not able to trust God to be sovereign in it all.
During my junior and senior years of high school, I wish I could say that I started to improve in these areas by spending more time in preparation for presentations and trying to learn ways that I could somehow be more comfortable in front of an audience. I would go as far as to say; I was so scared of what my future occupation might be, that I started to avoid God’s calling on my life.
Senior year, my high school pastor asked if I would be willing to lead a small group consisting of my peers. I told him yes because I was tired of running. Shortly after, God began to work. I started to see people open up, talk about their issues, and feel safe in the group. I began to see God at work through my willingness.
Skipping forward to my freshman year of college, I started to attend Arkansas State University, and before school started, I found a church called Journey Jonesboro. I immediately felt at home, got involved, and shared my call to ministry with the staff. My friend Matthew started to disciple me, and that time was a catalyst for growth.
I began learning how to read the Word of God. Before, I relied on short devotionals rather than the Bible during my quiet time. I guess I trusted the authors of those devotionals enough not to fact check them. As I read, I become fascinated with the topic of Scripture. I learned what it meant to have church. I learned what it meant to hide His Word in my heart. I learned what it meant to be a disciple. God provided me a church home and an explosion of growth.
During my second semester, I stepped into some leadership roles at school. Tuesday mornings at 7, Journey came to campus and taught Gospel 101. In my annoyance with friends who didn’t want to wake up and go with me, I began to teach what I was learning on Tuesdays at my Sunday night small group. Two other freshmen and I started a small group walking through the book of Ephesians, while I was going through Galatians with Matthew at a different time. I definitely overbooked myself, but I say all this to set up what this internship has meant to me.
God used my situations leading up to this internship to help me trust him.
I no longer have any anxiety about my calling. Yes, I am still nervous in front of crowds, but now, when someone asks me to be on stage, I see that opportunity as God saying, “you wanted training, here you go.” This summer, I have learned so much about myself and His ministry. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be at Antioch Georgetown. This internship has been a major step for me in my ‘training,’ and my journey has reminded me that God has a plan that he is working out for good.
If you are running from God in any way, maybe stop and ask yourself why. Is it because you aren’t trusting Him in your situation? Are you scared that God might not have the answer you want? Or are you scared that God will have the answer you expect? When we aren’t obedient, we are attempting to remove the divine control God has and take it into our own hands. God is always there, and you just have to let go of control and say, “Here I am Lord, I am willing.”
God has used music to speak to me in just about every situation I have faced, whether it to be to give me an answer, or just give me peace. I leave you with three songs that God has revealed Himself to me through:
Heart Abandoned – Passion
- Talks about God giving us the willingness to drop everything, because He is the only one who matters
- This is the song that God made my call to ministry crystal clear
Worthy of Your Name – Passion
- Message to God, proclaiming the reverence we should have because of what He did for us.
- This was the first time I ever raised my hands in worship
All Things Together – Fellowship Music
- Trusting God because He has “all things together”
- (just found this song recently, but it is powerful)
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